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August 6, 2020

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Changing: Your First 30 Days Count

Ariane de Bonvoisin’s 2008 book, The First 30 Days, is out in paperback, updated to reflect some of the economic and social turmoil in the past year. Women For Hire asked Ariane Five Questions.
1) A lot has happened since 2008. I’m one of the millions of women who lost her job. What are three things I should do in the first 30 days?
Take care of your health, get that energy flowing. Its the SEED of change- Sleep, Exercise, Eat Well and Drink (water).
You need endurance now and your health is often the first thing that goes out the window when something hard like a job loss happens.
People who are good at change really take care of themselves, no matter what.
-Let go of any old, disempowering beliefs like “there are no jobs”, ”I am a failure, i am ashamed”…”no one is hiring” and replace them with a belief like
“From this situation, something good will come” what i call The Change Guarantee
People who are good at change have positive beliefs. They are optimistic.
-Figure out what kind of job you want, dont necessarily go do what you’ve been doing before. There are few moments in your life where you get given the time to think, to reflect, to ask different questions, to consider doing something totally different. Listen to your intuition, ask yourself what you love, what youre great at. Only when you’ve got that figured out should you take some action, network, start reaching out.


Ariane de Bonvoisin’s 2008 book, The First 30 Days, is out in paperback, updated to reflect some of the economic and social turmoil in the past year. Women For Hire asked Ariane Five Questions.
1) A lot has happened since 2008. I’m one of the millions of women who lost her job. What are three things I should do in the first 30 days?
Take care of your health, get that energy flowing. Its the SEED of change- Sleep, Exercise, Eat Well and Drink (water).
You need endurance now and your health is often the first thing that goes out the window when something hard like a job loss happens.
People who are good at change really take care of themselves, no matter what.
-Let go of any old, disempowering beliefs like “there are no jobs”, ”I am a failure, i am ashamed”…”no one is hiring” and replace them with a belief like
“From this situation, something good will come” what i call The Change Guarantee
People who are good at change have positive beliefs. They are optimistic.
-Figure out what kind of job you want, dont necessarily go do what you’ve been doing before. There are few moments in your life where you get given the time to think, to reflect, to ask different questions, to consider doing something totally different. Listen to your intuition, ask yourself what you love, what youre great at. Only when you’ve got that figured out should you take some action, network, start reaching out.
2) How about mistakes to avoid after a job loss?
Getting stuck in the story of why you lost your job, blaming, telling everyone how sad, mad, frustrated you are, how difficult this is etc. Use your time with people constructively. Ask them for ideas, feedback. People help positive attitude people much more than victims or ‘poor me’s.’
Being impatient: We all overestimate how much will happen and change in 30 days…we rush. and we all underestimate how different our lives, careers could be in six months or more.
Not finding any time to enjoy this time off: doing things you’ve wanted to do/try, not had time for.
3) What are some principals in the book that are constant – whether you lose a job, your house or a loved one?
The book highlights nine principles of change. I interviewed thousands of people are found patterns of behavior, beliefs, actions that people who are good at change follow.
One of the principles is that to get through any change, you need people, a support team, someone who is there to help. How do you surround yourself with people who are good, who should be on your team?
Another principle is acceptance. People who navigate change successfully accept change quicker. When you are still in resistance, nothing happens. After accepting a change has happened, that’s when the relief happens, when possibilities show up.
4) How do women differ from men when tackling change in the first 30 days?
While I don’t like or recommend generalizing, women tend to take change personally. It’s about them. They also can create more of an illusion around what’s happened than just stay in reality.
They may project it as being permanent. Women will grieve the pain and loss more. They are more likely to see this down the line as something they can learn from.
Men tend to go to the gym, run, work out. They will get moving and do something. They will immediately jump into action, won’t do the inner work, the journey, get the lesson perhaps or the wake up call that life is maybe trying to give them. They won’t see the positive or the gift in why this happened.
5) How has the downturn in the economy affected you since your book was originally released in 2008? Were your forced to change and if so, how’d you do it?
The downturn has strengthened my spiritual beliefs even more, my conenction to the Divine, to something bigger going on here. When everything around you is changing and you can’t control much of it, I go to a place inside of me that doesn’t change: my core, my connection to my higher self, that part of me that is calm, guided and detached from the drama.
I also find myself doing some “karmic bartering” where I do something for someone like, help them brainstorm an idea and they train me, or help me with my site design or something. There are lots of ways to exchange services, talents, gifts, not only money.

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