1) How has modern communication – cell phones, social media, email – changed the workplace?
It has measurably increased the number of ways that you can communicate which, when used well, improves the chances of being ‘heard’ and of ‘hearing’ others. With emails, texts, voicemail, posts, profiles, tweets, videos you have a variety of ways to get your message across in a manner it will best be received.  For example, the CEO might want a face-to-face meeting, a VP wants a video conference, a department manager prefers email, a new hire likes a text, and someone out there still wants a sticky note attached to her desk.  Another big plus is that technology enables you to get things done a whole lot faster, cheaper, and with less effort across time zones, geographic differences, and to a larger number of people.

2) How are connecting and impressing online and the phone different from doing it in person?
One thing that hasn’t changed is the need to positively differentiate yourself. Online and offline you want to be viewed as memorable, impressive, credible, genuine, trusted, liked, comfortable, competent, and confident.  People mistakenly think that can only be done face-to-face when you shake hands and look the person in the eye. Actually in-person contact is fairly restrictive compared to other communication channels. For example, unfortunately, there is bias and stereotypes that people instantly react to when they meet someone who is young/old, skinny/heavy, short/tall, attractive/not so attractive. In an email, text, or on the phone you don’t have the instant unfair prejudice based on physical things – for or against you. Because you aren’t distracted with the physicality of face-to-face (posturing, pacing, mirroring, matching) you can absorb the other person’s message better. A big advantage that I like is that online you don’t have to respond in real time as you would if you were facing someone in person. You can take a moment to mull over your reactions, collect your thoughts, and be organized to position yourself however you want in a phone call, email, or voice or text message.

3) To find out what makes an impression when you’re not face to face, you talked to many CEOs. In a nutshell, what’d they say?
Times have changed due to technology but human nature remains the same.

4) What are common bad habits that people do on email, social media, texting and on the phone?
Like I said earlier when done well there are many advantages. Unfortunately when done poorly what you sent or said can go globally viral in about a nanosecond.   While there are many irritants that recipients have I think these are some of the biggest self-sabotaging actions people do.

• In emails, when they take a tone in written form they’d never take in person: no greeting or sign-off, use poor grammar or overly short messages like a one word answer.
• In social media, when people have hundreds of ‘friends’ they would never speak to in person.
• When people text someone else while talking to you.
• And when people such as staff, coworkers, friends or others feel you should be connected to your phone all the time. Unless you’re a brain surgeon on call you likely don’t need to constantly check for messages.

5) What specific advice would you give women on how to present themselves and stand out using today’s communication channels?
Effective female leaders (like male leaders) have to be skilled in using every communication tool available to them to get done what needs to get done. Technology and electronic gadgets are just some of those tools just like the tools of: integrity, attitude, persuasiveness, preparation, ability to maintain others’ self-esteem, willingness to make decisions and solve problems, and success in truly connecting with people.  But to my fellow female professionals I add, “be intelligent, be funny, be themselves….confidence in yourself is a beautiful thing.

Change Your Circumstances

1)  Follow your passion:  Take 30 quiet minutes away from distractions (I know it may be tough, but figure it out) and do some blue-sky thinking. Temporarily set aside any real or perceived limitations and ask yourself, “What would I love to do? What am I passionate about? What am I naturally good at or would love to learn to do? How can I serve other people? Find the point where the answer to all these questions intersects and you’re on to something. Look to find a job doing this or consider starting your own business.

2) Don’t quit your day job: At least not right away. When you make the decision to pursue your passion, you need to do so without the pressure of needing it to work. Don’t add unnecessary anxiety to the equation.

3) Be patient and persistent: Start taking baby steps. Begin by having fun with your new ideas and project. Do it for the fun and excitement of it, and things are likely to fall in place faster. Good energy attracts good circumstances and opportunities. Stay with it. Not everyone is cut out for making a major change of changing jobs or starting their own business, and that’s OK, so let’s talk about what options you have if this is you.

Change you:

1) Quit bitching:  Honestly, nobody wants to hear it. Plus, the universe is not going to reward you for complaining. It will respond by giving you more to complain about. Stop waiting for someone or something to rescue you. Be your own hero. Start focusing on what you want, not what you don’t want.

2)  Become a bright spot: Find a way every to positively impact the people with whom you come in contact. I met a bathroom attendant in an airport once who greeted people with such joy and amazing energy, people left the restroom with lifted spirits. The girl next to me at the mirror said she was pissed about leaving her shoes behind and now no longer cared. I ended up giving her an autographed copy of my book because she was such a beacon of light. If a bathroom attendant can find a way to enjoy her job and have a positive impact, so can you.

3) Play: Find ways (without being mean or wasting too much time), to create games. I’ll give you a great one to get the ideas flowing. Play Bingo. Find a co-worker or friend who either works with you or is in a similar situation. Create Bingo cards with the things that annoy you occupying the squares. If your co-worker texts constantly or if your boss has an annoying habit, put those in the squares. Each time one of these events happens, you mark of the square. First one with a Bingo wins. It may sound silly, but you will transform how you view what used to annoy you into something you will actually look forward to. That’s the magic and power of changing your perspective. Bottom line, being happier at work or otherwise, begins with you.

Beth N. Carvin

1) Now that the job situation is improving, some employees are bound to be looking to leave their current jobs and look for new ones. Is it a job seeker market yet?

No, it’s not a job seeker’s market yet but things are certainly improving for those looking for employment. The market tends to move in wide swings. When it’s an employer’s market, companies have all the power in the job negotiations. When it’s an employee’s market, employees can demand better titles, sign-on bonuses and higher starting salaries. In the late 1990s, some companies were giving out car leases on exotic cars in order to entice job seekers. That’s a job seeker’s market. We’re actually just beginning to make the transition from employer’s market to job seeker’s market. My favorite time is when the pendulum is swinging from one side to another. There’s a period of time when things are relatively even and each side needs to treat the other fairly. That’s where we are headed right now. With any luck we will stay there for a period of time before it swings too far in another direction.

2) If an employee is trying to decide whether to leave or stay in her current job, what criteria would you suggest she use?

I’m a firm believer in trying to make things work where you are at. That means getting a tougher skin for things that don’t go your way and  taking it upon yourself to improve the challenges you face. If you are bored with your work, take the initiative and start a project that will help your boss, the department or your company. Not only will it make your job more fun, but you will likely be recognized as a valuable go-getter by someone who has the power to make your work life better. When it comes to the workplace, you reap what you sow — but you have to sow first.  It’s amazing how you can transform your own job by taking initiative.

If your company is in a state of flux which is causing painful changes, sometimes it’s a matter of waiting them out. I’m reminded of professional woman who had been with her company for many years.  She was in a fairly senior managerial position when suddenly the company brought in another woman who was to be her new boss. The new boss was rude and difficult and did not like this long standing professional even though she had always done extremely well with the organization.  For the first time, the professional began thinking she had to leave the company; a company that she loved and had given so much to over the years.  My advice was to hang on and wait it out. When one person comes in and (seemingly) ruins everything, that person usually doesn’t last very long.  Sure enough, the next time I saw this woman, the new boss was gone and everything had gone back to normal.

Sometimes though you find that you’ve made a mistake in joining a particular company or the company has changed in dramatic ways that no longer align with your values or interests. If you make a sincere effort to improve your situation and nothing happens for the better, then it might be time to explore new opportunities.

3) What are some signs that HR managers should look for that their workforce is looking?

HR needs to be keep an eye out for “irritations” that are occurring in various parts of the organization. “Irritations” are annoyances (large and small) that collectively drive employees out the door.  The challenge is that irritations vary from company to company. There’s no one check-off list of the top 10 Irritations to eliminate. HR has to discover their organization’s own unique irritations. Complicating matters further each department, division, job type has it’s own irritations. In one department there might be a problem manager. In another there might be a nonsensical procedure that everyone must follow or unfair work schedules. Employees in a different area might be suffering from rotten co-workers with whom everyone must work. They are all irritations and eventually they drive people out the door.

4) What are three ways that HR managers can reduce employee turnover?

1. Identify irritations through exit interviews and other employee surveys and from continually keeping in touch with employees in various parts of the organization.
2. Work with a cross functional team to create a roadmap to reduce and/or eliminate the irritations.
3. Hire employees that have high tolerance levels and/or like working amidst the irritations!  I used to joke that if employees are leaving because the lighting is so terrible you have two choices. Choice 1 is to replace the light bulbs. Choice 2 is to hire people who like to work in the dark.

5) How has the hiring process changed since the recession? What are the primary ways that HR people look for new hires today?

Although I spent much of my career in Recruiting, for the last 10 or 12 years my focus has been on employee retention. Recruiting has changed dramatically in that time frame. One thing that hasn’t changed is the emphasis on employee referrals. Companies still recognize that the best employees come from people they know.  Technology has helped expand that network so it’s not just people you know, but people who know people who know people you know. Various forms of social media, niche job boards and career websites have expanded the recruiting landscape. They allow companies to cast a wider net.  This is a good thing for HR and it’s also a good thing for women seeking positions. As the job market continues to normalize, there will be a lot of openings and a lot of access to these positions.