Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster are the authors of Working for You Isn’t Working for Me – The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss. (Portfolio). Their company, K Squared Enterprises, provides consulting and public speaking on workplace relationships. Women For Hire asked them Five Questions. 1) In this economy many people are probably working in jobs they like but for bosses they loathe. Yet they can’t afford to quit. If you had one single bit of advice for them, what would it be? Kathi E – In this tough economy we can’t afford to take our boss’s bad behavior personally. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to detach and depersonalize from the boss.

Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster are the authors of Working for You Isn’t Working for Me – The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss. (Portfolio).
Their company, K Squared Enterprises, provides consulting and public speaking on workplace relationships. Women For Hire asked them Five Questions.
1) In this economy many people are probably working in jobs they like but for bosses they loathe. Yet they can’t afford to quit. If you had one single bit of advice for them, what would it be?
Kathi E – In this tough economy we can’t afford to take our boss’s bad behavior personally. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to detach and depersonalize from the boss.
Katherine C – I’d encourage anyone who has to endure working for a boss that he or she loathes to focus on de-stressing in healthy ways. Work out, play sports, meditate, spend time with supportive people, and find ways to showcase your talents. The more you do for yourself outside of the office, the better you’ll be able to manage your boss.
2) I have been a loyal employee at the same company for 30 years. Recently, they hired someone almost half my age, with less experience, to be my boss. We’ve had some run-ins and I’ve concluded that I may not be cut out to work for someone so young. Then again, I need this job. What to do?
Katherine C – The most common emotional reaction to a junior boss is to feel resentful that you have to report to someone with so little actual experience. You may also fear that your 30 years of experience won’t be valued. Your best bet is to assume that you can both learn from each other, but that you have to adapt to your new boss’s perspective first. Your younger boss may feel intimidated by you, so anything you can do to show your willingness to be led by this person will ease the transition for both of you.
Kathi E – It is a challenge to work for someone half your age. Never the less, it’s time for you to adjust your attitude towards your Junior Boss. Take a time out and look at what your new boss does bring to the company that is needed, for instance: new technology, fresh forward thinking, etc. Try to see what you can learn from your new boss and be sure to give him/her credit. The respect will be reciprocated.
3) My company demands that we come up with new ideas and innovations but my new boss is a chronic naysayer. How do I get her to say yes?
Kathi E – Getting a naysayer to be positive is like getting a pig to meow. It’s not going to happen. Unfortunately you will have to weather your bosses negativity and stay positive yourself. Be sure to restore your energy daily (exercise, meditation etc) your naysayer boss can be draining. It’s up to you to stay positive for yourself.
Katherine C – I’d suggest finding out if this naysayer has any ideas or innovations that she’d like to see realized. If you can make one of her hidden dreams come true, you may get a different response the next time you propose a new concept.
4) I am a woman and have worked for men my entire 25-year career, largely without any problem, until recently when a woman became my supervisor. The tension was instantaneous. I want to keep this job and I want to get along, but I find her to be dismissive and headstrong. Frankly, I expected better from another woman? Was I wrong? What to do?
Kathi E – This boss sounds unpleasant and I don’t think being a woman has anything to do with her personality. Plenty of male bosses are dismissive and headstrong. Expecting that a female boss would be a better boss is not a fair expectation. To get along with this kind of boss try doing it her way. I know you know what you’re doing, but try it her way. She will be more likely to listen to your ideas once you have given her a fair chance.
Katherine C – It’s actually a fact that women bosses can be very hard on their female employees. Your first job is to accept the fact that you’ve got a difficult boss. Also, try not to take her behavior personally. Her combative behavior existed before you came into the picture and will continue after you leave. Someone like this usually needs to feel in control. Anything you can do to let her know that you believe in her leadership and want to follow her directives should ease the tension.
5) My boss is a wimp. We work closely together and many projects but when superiors raise doubts about our presentations she never takes a stand. Any advice?
Kathi E – We would call your boss spineless. The best way to work with a spineless boss is to take the lead. Build relationships with other key players in your company to help you out when your boss goes wimpy.
Katherine C – Spineless bosses are terrified of confrontation, so you’ll want to make sure to document the success of your projects and the positive results of your work. That way, the next time a superior raises doubts about your presentation, even if your boss can’t speak up, the data will speak for itself.